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RE: [gnso-ff-pdp-may08] Final Report: Last Call for Edits

  • To: jbladel@xxxxxxxxxxx
  • Subject: RE: [gnso-ff-pdp-may08] Final Report: Last Call for Edits
  • From: Joe St Sauver <joe@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
  • Date: Tue, 4 Aug 2009 17:06:35 -0700


Putting on the proof reader glasses, looking at the final clean dot doc, 
I'm assuming anything noticeable is fair game (feel free to ignore or
otherwise handle nits as you see fit):

-- the entry for Annex II on the table of contents crowds page number 75

-- the em dash on Annex IV isn't underlined as it is on the other Annexes
   (maybe remove all the em dashes in the table of contents since there
   are no em dashes in the table of contents for the major sections?)

-- the underlining for the table of contents entry for Annex VI extends
   beyond the end of the word "FORMULA" all the way over to the page 

-- the table of contents bleeds over on top of the executive

-- bad location to begin a new section bottom of page 13 ("4. ICANN
   as a best practices facilitator" starts as the last line on the
   bottom of the page)

-- in the body of the text, some URLs are live (blue and underlined,
   e.g., see examples on page 11, for example), while other URLs
   are not (black, not-underlined, not live links) as occurs at
   page 13, section 3. suggest making all links live, or all links
   not-live (but not a mix of both)

-- page 66 "... it encountered a number of challenges. An overview of
   the main challenges encountered by the fast flux Working Group is
   presented below."

   Note that there are only two challenges listed. I would suggest
   replacing "a number of challenges" with "two main challenges:"
   and deleting "An overview of the main challenges encountered by 
   the fast flux Working Group is presented below.

-- part of the table on page 113 bleeds over to the top of page 114
   (e.g., the shaded "hk 1" line)

-- on 114, treat "Worked Example 1." as a heading or subheading; ditto
   "Worked Example 2." on page 116

-- page 124 and following are in blue; don't know if that's an 
   artifact, or something that needs to be corrected

-- Annex VIII -- thanks for ordering those according to attendance,
   however did the table also get pivot'd? I liked the other rotation
   better (although that may be a function of the European style  
   date format employed (I've always been a big fan of YYMMDD because
   it sorts cleanly)).

-- Total calls appears to be floating on its own on page 152

Thanks for all the hard work that's gone into putting this report
together -- in spite of these nits, I think it's very nicely done!



Disclaimer: all opinions strictly my own

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