Rachel, you will not be surprised to learn that I too have a trademark or two.
Mine is for "The Great Hal Lubsen" with which I plan to establish - you guessed it
- "The Great Hal Lubsen Fan Club".You won't be at all surprised to know that my
TM was registered on February 29, 2001 in the CAR. CAR I hear you say - dur
- the Central African Republic - it's in Africa stupid! Registration
Number 08091951 - which by coincidence is my sister's birthday.
I suspect that
mine is the only TM ever registered in the CAR, but I would be surprised if you could
find evidence of it. I had a copy, but my dingo ate it. You will just
have to take my word for it.
You should be aware that I have also registered the
TM - "The Completely Unauthorised Hal Lubsen" - yes - you know where I am going don't
you - with which I plan to establish "The Completely Unauthorised Hal Lubsen Fan
Club". I think competition is good, don't you Rachel - it brings out the best
in people - and registrars.
And yes, there is more Rachel - you are not looking
happy Pet, I plan to write "The Completely Unauthorised Hal Lubsen Biography" - are
those squeals of delight I hear Rachel? - subtitled with the great man's own bywords
- "Customer Satisfaction Is A Must". It will tell a story of one man's struggle
with truth and justice, and I think it has block buster written all over it.
I
have already pre-sold it into every half-reputable Graduate School of Management
in the world to use as a classic case study for young business moguls wanting to
learn how to turn a silk purse into a sow's ear.
I have enough material now to
write chapters on Business Planning, sub-titled - how the great man discovered that
you will make more money if you have customers; Risk Management, sub-titled - how
the great man discovered the risks of having no risk management policy; Business
Communications, sub-titled - let the VP Marketing make an ass of himself - that's
what he's paid for, or, lies by omission, or, better still - tell'em nothing;
and Customer Relations, sub-titled - STFU then FOAD. Still trying to tease
out chapters on business ethics and best practice, but finding it hard to find material
and will probably just lump them both under a chapter on marketing, sub-titled -
promise them the world, until you have their money. I think a generation of
MBA students will be thrilled to learn the ways the great man has given new meaning
to the sayings - crash or crash through , and, win-win.
You will be delighted
to know Pet - why are you tapping your boots? - that I plan to publish it on the
net at aboutafilias.com - which a dear friend of mine in Australia registered this
afternoon - it looks so nice in the whois - just above all of DomainBank's Afiliaswhatever.coms.
And because you think I am making this up - the TM for "The Completely Unauthorised
Hal Lubsen" was registered in the nation of the Bikini Atoll - yes it was - those
Bikinians are such lovely people - but still pissed-off about the bombs and the fact
that the Tuvaluans lucked out with the .TV people. Cross my heart and hope
to die - registered on February 29, 2001, Registration Number 06031962 - which by
coincidence is my birthday. But don't go looking for it, I am sure it's probably
radioactive. The dingo ate my copy and now he fluoresces in the dark.
Rachel,
do you have a problem with that?
For those who can't wait for the book - STFU=shut
the f*ck up
FOAD=f*ck off and die