RE: [gnso-dow123] FOR REVIEW: Draft PreliminaryTaskForceReport on the Purpose of Whois]

["Milton Mueller" <mueller@xxxxxxx>]

This revision looks acceptable to me.  

>>> "Maria Farrell" <maria.farrell@xxxxxxxxx> 1/10/2006 10:46 AM >>>
Dear all,

Having followed the discussion on-list about revisions to this draft
preliminary task force report, I present you with a revised draft.  As there
was not a consensus on the list about all the changes, I've tried to
incorporate the changes that were the least contentious.  The attached draft
does the following:

- includes the complete NCUC statement, i.e. on purpose of Whois as well as
that on purpose of Whois contacts. 

- incorporates Steve Metalitz' suggestion re. 2nd para of section 2 "and
whether its purpose relates to the domain name registration only, or more
broadly to how the domain name is used."  (I don't think this is a
substantive change, but it is a tidier way to express it and does seem to be
more accurate in terms of the task force's discussions.)

-  in the third para under formulation 2 I've simply put "consistent with
ICANN's Mission and Core Values".  Removing the adjective altogether makes
this sentence more of a factual statement on the beliefs of the
formulation's endorsers. 

- created consistent sub-headings in all the constituency statements for
'purpose of Whois' and 'purpose of Whois contacts', to make the report
easier to read. 

- included in a new Section 4 the relevant excerpt of the GNSO Public
Comment Forum from Vancouver.  (The full summary of the public forum is
still under review and will be posted on the website shortly.)

- included 2 new sentences in section 1 on background and introduction
giving some guidance on public comments: "Public comments are invited
particularly on the two formulations of the purpose of Whois in section 2.
Commenters are encouraged to explain the use cases of the formulations where
appropriate, e.g. by giving practical examples and explaining how the
differences between the two definitions may affect those practical
examples." This summarises Bruce Tonkin's request at the public forum
regarding public comments on the formulations. 

- included 1 new sentence on in section 1 regarding the constituency
statements; "They provide important background information that supplements
the two formulations."

I hope these revisions improve the report.  Our plan is to have it posted on
the ICANN website for public comments by the end of this week.  So, if at
all possible, I would appreciate your comments and any further revisions by
the end of Wednesday (tomorrow). 

All the best, Maria



-----Original Message-----
From: owner-gnso-dow123@xxxxxxxxx [mailto:owner-gnso-dow123@xxxxxxxxx] On
Behalf Of Milton Mueller
Sent: Monday, January 09, 2006 9:46 PM
To: ross@xxxxxxxxxx 
Cc: gnso-dow123@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx; gnso.secretariat@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx 
Subject: Re: [gnso-dow123] FOR REVIEW: Draft PreliminaryTaskForceReport on
the Purpose of Whois]

Yes, that was my concern, too. It may be better to leave as is. As I said, I
will go whichever way takes less time. 

>>> Ross Rader <ross@xxxxxxxxxx> 1/9/2006 9:59 AM >>>
My preference  would simply be to close this off without much further in the
way of drastic edits. I personally don't want to have to re-review my
constituencies submission to make sure that it still makes sense post-edit.