Re: [gnso-dow123] FOR REVIEW: Draft PreliminaryTaskForceReport on the Purpose...

[KathrynKL@xxxxxxx]

Only for you, my dear TF members, would I take time from the major deadline I 
am on. But I see this is moving ahead of schedule... so here I am.

First, kudos to Maria and all who worked on this.  A good presentation of a 
complicated subject and history.  Thank you!

Now a few additions, mostly small.  
1)  An opening plea:  could this please be posted in Adobe Acrobat as well as 
HTML?  Let's give people an easy print version of this long and important 
document.

2) a nit:  page 2, the index.  Let's give all constituency statements the 
same title, e.g., Commercial and Business Constituency Statement, Noncommercial 
Users Constituency Statement, etc.

3) a nit: page, 7, "Noncommercial" is one word in the third bullet

4) page 8.  To Formuation 2, the paragaphs starting "These representatives 
support Formulation 2...." Consistent with Steve's changes elsewhere, I think 
we 
should expand "to help resolve issues" -> "to help resolve issues broadly 
related to how the domain name is used, ... " 

5) Under the last paragraph of "Common Ground" section, page 8-9:  
Let's run the redline in both directions.  Redlining is always a bit 
ambiguous, so for clarity and ease of review of both formulations, I think the 
redlining should run both ways.  Possible title/text:
   
    "Formulation 1 over Formulation 2" (or some similar title) then show 
Formulation 1 version on top (currently not shown), then 
       "Forumulation 2 over Formulation 1" and include the current 
Formulation 2 overwriting Formulation 1.  

6) Page 50 Public Forum.  I would like to add one last line to my comments to 
complete my thought at the microphone that day:
       "... but just a first step, because it does not allow registrars and 
registries to come into voluntary, pro-active compliance with their data 
protection laws."

Thanks!
Kathy