[gnso-osc-ops] SOI and a Bit of Levity

[Julie Hedlund <julie.hedlund@xxxxxxxxx>]

Dear Ray and Work Team members,

I thought you might appreciate the following SOI from Antony Van Couvering for 
the SOAC-MAPO Working Group and the bit of levity it brings to the process :-)

Julie

Antony Van Couvering Statement of Internet

1.  Current vocation, employer and position:

Current vocation:  Waiting for Godot
Employer: Minds + Machines, LLC
Position: CEO

2.  Type of work performed in #1 above:  Tiddlywinks and experimenting with 
different comic verse forms. For instance limericks:

The GAC denounced Public Morality
With a decisive instrumentality
Saying "Now you must fix
This Module Six,
And don't speak to us of reality!"

The difference between content and string
Is a devil to solve in Beijing
Or indeed Glasgow
For it's easy to see how
The choice is annoying to Konstantine

And clerihews:

Bertrand de La Chapelle
Is a hard man to quell
His new status gives him authority
To once again propose a category

Chuck Gomes is fair
That's why he's Chair
He said, "I don't want to cause vexation,
But I'll be out of touch on vacation."

3.    Identify any financial ownership or senior management/leadership interest 
in registries, registrars or other firms that are interested parties in ICANN 
policy or any entity with which ICANN has a transaction, contract, or other 
arrangement.

I have an arrangement with Richard Tindal never to speak about that night in 
Paris.

4.    Identify any type of commercial or non-commercial interest in ICANN GNSO 
policy development processes and outcomes.

-- I have an insatiable interest in working group proceedings and often listen 
to my comprehensive collection of MP3 recordings of teleconferences.  I 
secretly make my own recordings and I hope to make money by selling pirated 
versions that include snippets from the beginnings and ends of calls that are 
not included in the official MP3s provided by ICANN.

Are you representing other parties?

-- There's a party?  I represent that what are called parties at ICANN are 
nothing of the kind.  All the real parties are elsewhere.  I do not represent 
any of them.

Describe any arrangements/agreements between you and any other group, 
constituency or person(s) regarding your nomination/selection as a work team 
member.

--  The business constituency and I have an agreement that I will not join 
them, nor be selected by them for any ICANN work.  I pay AT&T $150/month and my 
therapist $300/hr.

Describe any tangible or intangible benefit that you receive from participation 
in such processes.

-- So, so many.  It has kept me off the street and prevented a possibly 
lucrative life of crime.  I have a very good knowledge of hotels near the L.A. 
airport.  I have been lectured on the importance of the global information 
society by ministers of communication of several autocratic states.  I have 
over 1 million miles on American Airlines.  I know now that trademarks exist to 
protect the consumer.  I have learned that unlike any other technology, the 
cost of a domain name magically increases as a registry makes more of them.  I 
can't say if these benefits are tangible or intangible.

For example, if you are an academic or NGO and use your position to advance 
your ability to participate, this should be a part of the statement of 
interest, just as should employment by a contracted party, or a business 
relationship with a non- contracted party who has an interest in policy 
outcomes.

-- Sensu stricto, I am an NGO, unaffiliated with any government, although my 
company does provide taxes to the State of New York for the privilege of paying 
me to write SOIs.  This has not advanced my interests in the least.

5.   Are you a member of a GNSO Constituency / Stakeholder Group, and if yes, 
which one(s)?  No, but I still have my ICANN membership card.