Re: [soac-newgtldapsup-wg] writing exercise.

[Eric Brunner-Williams <ebw@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

nits:
@97, change "main" to "sole" (or we should figure out what the 
non-main criteria are, or
@98, change "a need" to "the needs" (note the plural, see @97, above)
@102, add "or other need" before "has" (again the plural/@97 issue)

@108, change "in" to "for"
@109, add "to" before "serve"

non-nit:
@113-115, a reading of "portfolio managers who's brands are active in 
narrow markets are eligible" follows from the parenthetical exception. 
Personally I don't think there is any reason to have private 
namespaces, nor to additionally award brands with resources intended 
for the public.

nit:
@122, capitalize "this"

non-nits:
@129,130 the beneficiary of both governmental and this WG recommended 
support is limited to Community applicants. See the prioritization 
discussion.
@132-135 the association is revenues above support. I suggest revenues 
above cost (profit) is a better choice, and to support the own growth 
of the recipient, a multiple greater than 1.0 be used to determine a 
basis for payment into the revolving fund.
nit:
@137 capitalize "guide book"

non-nit:
@149 the apparent issue is _a_ (singular) minority language. This is 
both covered in the (now unlabled) (a)-(e) list of non-prioritized 
beneficiaries of the program, and the better sense of the issue is not 
_a_ (singular) language, but cases where an applicant can not, without 
harm to the community, exclude language(s) due to ICANN fees.
@153-166 please see the if-then text I sent earlier today, which 
recites the proposal I've offered previously.
non-nit:
@153 the limitation to IDNs overlooks all language communities which 
have accommodated to the imposition of Latin Script, and use Latin 
Script to encode non-Latin languages.
non-nit:
@154-156 the proposal is not specific to applicants meeting the needs 
criteria (or any other as yet unnamed criteria) for aid, and is 
general in nature. No Thanks!
non-nit:
@154-156 the proposal is limited to "a second IDN", which is 
insufficient to meet the needs of plural language communities, e.g., a 
wacking big hung of South Asia.
nit:
@155, delete the "." before "or"
@160, delete the trailing "."

I'm sure I missed some nits and non-nits (which are in the eye of the 
beholder).
Eric