[gnso-dow123] Kathy's review; Points for Revision

[KathrynKL@xxxxxxx]

Here is my fuller review of the issues.  Thanks to Steve for the first draft.
Apologies that I cannot join you on the call.  

First, to this paper I would add two short but important appendices:
1.  A summary of the privacy laws in those countries in which ICANN 
accredited registrars/registries are based.
2.  Copies of official decisions/correspondance to ICANN from governmental 
organizations, including the Article 29 Working Group and the International 
Data 
Protection Commissions group.  As pointed out in an earlier call, government 
comments are important.  

Second, here are a few edits where I think meaning has changed from original 
drafts:
1.  Section 2, Consultation, paragraph 1 (at the end).   I don't remember 
anything in the original recommendation that told ICANN which side to take in a 
negotiation. I think it should be ICANN's call whether to watch, whether to 
assist with background and explanations, or whether to get involved in an 
advocacy role.  In this Consultation section, I would delete the last sentence 
of the 
first paragraph.

2. Step 3, section iv, has been turned on its head by the changes.  The 
original recommendation says that absent some stability problem, ICANN should 
lean 
towards allowing the regional exceptions for privacy.  The current version 
asks ICANN to find an "anticipated impact" on its Core Mission.  
       I strongly recommend we go back to the original version ("As a general 
rule, the General Counsel shall not recommend any enforcement action against 
such registry or registrar unless it finds that enforcement action is 
necessary in order to preserve on the operational stability, reliability, 
security, or 
global interoperability of the Internet's unique identifier system.") and 
start the discussion again.

3.  To the end of Section 1 I would add:  "pending a more complete review of 
local law and a fuller, more harmonized approach in a future ICANN RAA." to 
follow up on the discussion with Ross. 


Regards and good luck, Kathy